The Big Top
Some Circuses are Not Worth the Wait
As always, my life is nothing but a constant whirlwind and finding time to write is not the easiest. I was thinking I should get a driver so I can get work done in the car, but since that seems impractical at this point, the next best thing is forcing my child to get his permit. I mean, it’s getting to the point where I should probably put an Uber sticker on my car and start charging him a fee, but he couldn’t afford me. Instead we gave him a choice (he loves to make his own decisions) …you can get your permit OR you can get your permit. He decided all on his own that he’d get his learner’s permit.
The unfortunate part about getting your Learner’s Permit is having to go to the DMV. Now one would think that a Government run agency would be efficient and organized (cue sarcasm), but guess again. It’s basically a circus without the Trapeze artists and dancing poodles. There’s everything you hope to see at a circus, but not at a place of business - clowns (lots and lots), angry bears, a juggler, a lion tamer, and a ring leader.
When we arrived at the DMV there was a line wrapped around the building and. Usually this means that a place is really good and worth the wait, in this case, however, it means no one knows what the heck is going on. Cue the circus music. We had everything prepared ahead of time which according to the online website, meant that the soon to be driver, could go to an express line. I dropped him off and told him to ask the ring leader where the express line was. My phone rings.
“The lady says there is no express line and I have to go to the end of the line”.
“That’s not what their website says”, I answer assuming the ring leader is just confused.
“That’s what she said and I’m not standing in that line. We can come back another day.”
The heck we are waiting another day this is happening today! I get parked and he is standing at my window ready to leave. I slap that car in park, tell him to get in because I’m going to have a chat with the ring leader myself. Not that I’m not enjoying the circus so far, but I would like to move things along to the main event because I have things to do. I get out of the car, straighten my crown, and head to the front to find Ms. Clipboard.
“Excuse me. I know you are busy, but my son didn’t quite understand what you were saying. Is there not an express line like the website said?”
“You mean that young man that was here?” she snarled as if she was an angry lion (maybe she’s not the ring leader after all). “I told that boy to get in the line and we would walk around the line, see he has the paper and bring him to the front.”
Now, I’m noticing there is no one going around looking at the people in the line. I’m thinking why don’t you just bring the people with the paperwork to the front when you see them, but that might be too advanced for this small town circus.
“So, let me understand, there is no express line like the website said?”
“No there isn’t”, she barked, “You can make an appointment for your permit test.”
“Actually you cannot because if you could we would have made one. You can make an appointment for a behind the wheel test or to renew your license that’s it”.
“Maybe it’s called something else”, she answered, “I don’t do the website”.
Yes, of course that makes sense. That must be part of the test! Deciphering the code to make the appointment to take the test. It’s like the cup game where you try to pick the cup that has the red ball inside except it’s pick the link that might have what you are looking for.
“There is no other name it could be. Can we make an appointment for a behind the wheel test and then say Surprise we are here for the learner’s permit?”
She was not amused, however the people at the front of the line were chuckling.
“Ok, just to recap, there is no express line, you don’t understand the website, and you don’t like questions”. I might have not actually said the last part, but I was definitely thinking it.
Realizing the show is going nowhere, I went back to my car and started googling other circuses in the area. I mean this can’t be the only show in town. We found another one, in another town, that was obviously the Barnum Bailey of circuses because they were completely organized. The saw his paper, put him in the express line, and we were in and out of there in 30 minutes. It was like the Dominos of DMVs. The moral of today’s blog, just like wine, not all circuses are the same. If you don’t like the first taste, move on to another bottle.
Until Next Time….Salute
*No animals or people were harmed in the visiting of the DMV