Quarantine Wine
Toasting to a Year in Lock Up
Hard to believe this week marks one year since we’ve been locked-up. I think the technical term for this past year is “Quarantine”, but it really feels like we’ve been doing hard time. I mean, there are criminals who have been paroled sooner. Even Martha Stewart only served 5 months in prison and another 5 in House Arrest. For those of you a little behind in your Zoom school math class that equals 10 months which is less than our quarantine. Apologies to any Martha fans out there.
Now before you get your masks all in a bunch, I do understand the purpose behind our “house arrest” and I’m not trying to minimize the pandemic. I just happen to believe in order to keep our sanity, it is important to laugh at situations we can’t control.
Allow me to share my top 10 ways Quarantine has changed our lives.
We wear masks: Who would have ever thought that we would all look like we just left a bank heist. My favorite is when people wear a mask while they are alone in their car. If you’re that afraid, perhaps going outside isn’t for you.
We hoard toilet paper: Toilet paper has become to people in the 2020’s what gold was to people in the 1800’s.
We have all become teachers: Scariest part about this is the same people that can’t follow the directions of how to properly wear a mask are the ones doing the teaching. Doesn’t give me much hope for the future.
We have taken up day drinking: While not everyone has done this, those that have are probably doing it as a result of # 3. Frustration with trying to teach “new math” (not sure what was wrong with “old math”) combined with living in a perpetual “Groundhog Day” often leads to a new class on the school schedule entitled Mixology.
We now have Zoom attire: Zoom attire is much like the mullet. Business up top, pajamas down below.
We have discovered the real color of our hair: For those used to going to salons, this has been a real eye opener for them and us. Let’s suffice it to say, I personally lobbied for salons to open back up.
We use hand sanitizer like it’s hand cream: I personally can’t walk by one of those hand sanitizer dispenser machines without using it. It doesn’t matter if I just washed my hands or just used sanitizer. As a result, my hands are not pretty. (also see reason #6 referring to salons).
We binge watch everything: People have turned TV watching into an Olympic event without a clear winner. Sometimes I just watch something even if I don’t like it just so I can say I finished the season.
We have organized and re-organized: I’ve done this so much at times I can’t remember where things are because they move every week. If I do anymore “Marie Kondo-ing” (I think it’s now a word) I may only be left with my dogs and my wine.
We have all packed on the “Covid-19”: With nothing else going on this year, eating has become our favorite. I mean you have to snack on something when you’re doing all that binging and it’s not good to day drink on an empty stomach. As a result, elastic pants are making quite the come-back.
In all actuality there have been good things about Quarantine. We have gotten to spend quality time with our family (sometimes a little too much time). We have learned to slow down, connect with people and enjoy the little things in life. Just like this Quarantine wine reminds us we need to find something great to “toast” to everyday. And don’t forget to laugh everyday, it sure beats crying.
Until Next Time….Salute